"SAY WHAT?!"

                             

                                          THE FEAR OF BEING CRITIQUED

AS WRITERS, WE ARE VERY CRITICAL OF OUR WORK. SURE, WE DON’T MIND HAVING A FEW GRAMMATICAL ERRORS POINTED OUT. BECAUSE THAT DOESN’T NECESSARILY QUESTION OUR ABILITY TO WRITE, ONLY OUR ABILITY TO PUNCTUATE PROPERLY. NEVERTHELESS, WE WORK HARD TO PRODUCE GREAT MATERIAL. NOT ONE OF US WANTS SOMEONE TO LITERALLY NICK PICK OUR WRITING TO DEATH-REDUCING IT TO NOTHING BUT PILES OF RUBBLE.  

THE THOUGHT OF BEING CRITIQUED IS THE EQUIVALENT OF TAKING CASTOR OIL AS A CHILD FOR A STOMACH ACHE. WE CRINGE AT THE VERY IDEA. LET ME SHARE THIS QUOTE WITH YOU. “THE GREATEST PRISON PEOPLE LIVE IN, IS THE FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK” I READ ON FACEBOOK AND IT FIT RIGHT IN TO WHAT I AM DISCUSSING TODAY.

LET ME JUST SAY, SOMETIMES THE TRUTH DOES HURT AND YOU MUST POSSESS A THICK SKIN TO TAKE CRITICISM WHERE IT’S DUE. BUT, SOME CRITIQUES ARE NOT DESIGNED TO STRENGTHEN YOU IN AREAS WHERE YOU ARE WEAK, BUT, TO MAIM AND DESTROY, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY POSSESS THE WILL TO DO SO. SO WHO AM I TALKING ABOUT, REVIEWERS OF COURSE! EVERY AUTHOR HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS, EVERY TIME THEY RELEASE A NEW WORK.

I UNDERSTAND, WE ALL HAVE A FEAR OF HAVING SOMEONE WHOM WE’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH AND WHO HASN’T SLAVED OVER A MANUSCRIPT FOR YEARS, GIVE THEIR PERSONAL OPINION OF OUR WORK. 

BE THAT AS IT MAY, THEY ARE ONLY DOING THEIR JOB, POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE REFLECTIONS CONSIDERED. WE AS WRITERS JUST AS THEY AS REVIEWERS, HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO INSURE THE WORK WE DELIVER IS AT ITS BEST. BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUS AS WRITERS. 

I GUESS YOU COULD EQUATE CRITIQUES MUCH LIKE A SURGEON DOES WHEN THEY APPROACH A WOUND. SOMETIMES, A LITTLE CUTTING IS NECESSARY TO PROMOTE HEALING, THEY REMOVE THE INFECTED PARTS, CUTTING HERE AND THERE, UNTIL THEY ARE SATISFIED WITH THE RESULTS. THIS IS THE SAME PRINCIPLE AS A REVIEWER. MIND I SAID CUT NOT BUTCHER. BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME WHO ARE EXCESSIVELY BRUTAL SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ABUSE THEIR POWER OR DON’T LIKE THE STORY, NOT BECAUSE IT ISN’T GREAT.

CASE AND POINT: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU WAITED TO GO TO THE THEATER TO SEE A MOVIE, BUT BECAUSE OF A BAD REVIEW YOU DECLINED? AS IT TURNS OUT YOU LISTENED TO SOMEONE ELSE’S PERSONAL VIEWPOINT, INSTEAD OF LEARNING FOR YOURSELF. 

HOW MANY OF YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DO, THAT REVIEWERS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! THEY DO GET IT WRONG SOMETIMES.

I REPEAT, DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO DETER FROM YOUR GOALS. IN FACT, IT SHOULD MAKE YOU MORE DETERMINED TO PROVE THEM WRONG BY WRITING A MASTERFUL WORK OF ART. SOME OF THE MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS OF THE AGES UNDERWENT THIS SAME PERSECUTION. A STRONG WORD I KNOW BUT IT’S THE TRUTH.

LET ME JUST GIVE YOU THE RUN DOWN OF A FEW GREAT AUTHORS WHO DIDN’T DESPAIR OR GIVE UP BECAUSE OF A BAD REVIEW OR REJECTION LETTER. STEPHEN KING FOR INSTANCE, WHO’S BOOK CARRIE WAS REJECTED 30 TIMES BEFORE IT WAS IN FACT PUBLISHED AND WENT ON TO BE A BEST SELLER AS WELL MOVIE. HE DIDN’T GIVE UP BECAUSE SOMEONE DIDN’T RECOGNIZE HIS PROWESS AS A SCIENCE FICTION WRITER. 

I CAN NAME SOME OTHER WRITERS WHO EXPERIENCED THIS AS WELL, WILLIAM GOLDING, WHO WROTE LORD OF THE FLIES; THE EPIC SAGA, GONE WITH THE WIND BY MARGARET MITCHELL WAS REJECTED 38 TIMES BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED AND BECAME A SCREENPLAY. AND A BOOK I’VE READ MANY TIMES AS A CHILD, THE TALE OF PETER RABBIT BY BEATRIX POTTER WHO SELF PUBLISHED, BY THE WAY (A SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE DIY AUTHORS,)THIS WORK OF ART. SOME MIGHT NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH HER NAME, BUT LOUISA MAY ALCOTT THE AUTHOR OF LITTLE WOMEN, WAS TOLD TO STICK TO TEACHING. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 

THERE ARE TONS MORE BUT HOPEFULLY YOU GET THE POINT I’M TRYING TO MAKE. AND I WANT YOU TO SEE THE WHAT IF PROBABILITY. BECAUSE IT DOES EXIST BUT YOU MUCH LIKE THESE AUTHORS, MUST NOT AND DON’T GIVE UP BECAUSE OF NEGATIVE RESPONSES TO YOUR WORK? 

THANK GOD THEY DIDN’T GIVE UP OTHERWISE WE WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF READING THESE GREAT STORIES OR THE INSPIRATION TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD. THESE WRITERS DIDN’T LET A NEGATIVE RESPONSE DETER THEM FROM WHAT THEY WERE DESTINED TO BECOME. THEY PERSEVERED BECAUSE OF THE INNER DESIRE AND INNER PASSION TO CREATE THAT WE ALL AS WRITERS HAVE.

LISTEN TO ME! YOU ARE SO MUCH GREATER THAN YOU EVEN REALIZE. PERHAPS YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THE LEVEL OF STEPHEN KING OR EVEN DIANA GALBALDON (MY FAVORITE AUTHOR) YET, THAT’S OKAY, YOU WILL GET THERE.

THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR CRAFT THROUGH CRITICISM BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING EITHER.

WHICH IS WHY I BELIEVE THE MECHANICS OF WRITING CAN BE TAUGHT. BUT THE SKILL THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT COMES FROM THAT INNER SOURCE (GOD) AND THE GIFT HE’S BESTOWED UPON YOU, AS WELL PRACTICE.

DON’T LET CRITICISM FORCE YOU INTO A EARLY RETIREMENT OR SHELL FOR THAT MATTER.

MANY PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS ABOUT ME BECAUSE I’VE GROWN SO MUCH OVER THE YEARS. BUT AS A CHILD, I WAS DEEPLY INTROVERTED. ONLY THOSE, WHO THOUGHT THE WAY I DID, UNDERSTOOD ME. SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT I WAS WEIRD BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND MY PERSONA. BUT WHAT I DISCOVERED ABOUT MYSELF IS THAT I WAS CREATED TO BE MULTI-FACETED. I DARED TO BE DIFFERENT AND REALIZED PEOPLE TEND TO LABEL THAT OF WHICH THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND. WE ARE ALL PERSONALIZED BY GOD, AND GIVING OUR OWN INDIVIDUAL STAMP WHATEVER THAT MIGHT BE. 

BUT AS A WRITER THIS IS WHAT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED AS WELL THE NEED TO INSPIRE OTHERS. HEY IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF WHO WILL. WRITING IS THE PERFECT FORM OF EXPRESSION AND COMMUNICATION FOR AUTHORS. WHO OTHERWISE HAVE NO VOICE TO EXPRESS THEIR INNERMOST IDEAS AND THOUGHTS. OUR PERSONALITIES ARE SO DEEPLY LAYERED THAT TO AVOID BEING LABELED AS WEIRD, AND EXIST ONLY IN OUR OWN LITTLE IMAGINARY WORLDS. 

WE MUST PUSH THROUGH THE TEMPTATION TO THROW IN THE TOWEL WHEN WE ARE DISCOURAGED. WRITING GIVES US POWER TO SPEAK UP AND OUT. BUT IF WE ALLOW CRITICISM OF OUR MOST CHERISHED CREATIONS TO HINDER OUR GROWTH THEN WE SILENCE OURSELVES.

THE WAY I LOOK AT IT IS SOMETIMES, AND I ALWAYS GO BACK TO MOTHERHOOD, AS CHILDBEARING. GOD GAVE WOMEN AN INTERNAL SHUT-OFF VALVE, LADIES CALLED MENOPAUSE, THAT WORKS JUST LIKE WRITING. HE STARTED US AND CAN STOP US, KNOW ONE ELSE HAS THIS CONTROL.

NEVERTHELESS, CRITIQUES ESPECIALLY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS IS IMPORTANT. WITHOUT IT, WE’D NEVER KNOW WHEN AND IF WE’VE DONE A GREAT JOB.

I HAVE A GOOD FRIEND, WHO READS OFTEN BUT WASN’T NECESSARILY IN TO THE MUSHY STUFF, ROMANCE BOOKS. THIS GENTLEMAN HAS READ EVERY MANUSCRIPT I’VE EVER WRITTEN. I HAVE TO SAY THAT I AM SO THANKFUL FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM. BECAUSE HE IS HONEST, ALSO OPINIONATED BUT HIS REVIEW OF MY WORK IS CRITICAL TO ME. FIRST OF ALL BECAUSE AS A FEMALE I’M VERY GOOD AT WRITING FROM THIS PERSPECTIVE. HOWEVER, HIS FEEDBACK AS A MALE HELPS ME TO DEVELOP BETTER CHARACTERS BASED ON THIS INSIGHT.

I REMEMBER HE TOLD ME ONCE ABOUT A CHARACTER IN ONE MY MANUSCRIPTS THAT HE WASN’T PARTICULARLY FEELING. BLUNTLY, HE STATED, “I DON’T LIKE THIS DUDE.” WELL I DISMISSED HIS OPINION, AND SUBMITTED IT TO THE PUBLISHER WHO AGREED WITH HIM. 

WELL THIS TAUGHT ME A VALUABLE LESSON, AND I GAINED MORE RESPECT FOR MY FRIEND. BECAUSE OF HIS HONEST OPINION AND BEING MALE, HE RECOGNIZED SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CHARACTER THAT I COULDN’T AND DIDN’T SEE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I PAID MORE ATTENTION THE SECOND TIME AROUND BECAUSE I HAD TO RE-WRITE BASICALLY THE ENTIRE STORY, TIME CONSUMING AS WELL FRUSTRATING.

NOW MY BROTHER, ON THE OTHER HAND, WHO I LOVE DEARLY, HAS ALSO READ MY BOOKS. HE LIKES THEM, BUT HE SAID TO ME ONCE “VIB,” HE INSISTS ON ADDING A (B) TO THE SHORTENED VERSION OF MY NAME FOR SOME REASON, DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT HE SAID “WHY DON’T YOU WRITE CHILDREN’S BOOKS?”  HE DIDN’T SAY THIS BECAUSE HE DOESN’T THINK I’M A GREAT WRITER. BUT MORE SO FROM THE PROSPECTIVE FIRST OF ALL, I’M NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO WRITE ABOUT ADULT THINGS BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO ACCEPT THE FACT I AM QUITE GROWN WITH FOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. WE’VE HAD THIS DISCUSSION MANY TIMES AND I LOVE HIM DESPITE HIS MISGIVINGS. ANYWAY, I RESPONDED, “I DON’T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT CHILDREN” AND I HEARTILY DISAGREED WITH HIM BECAUSE, THIS IS MY PHILOSOPHY OF COURSE: BUT SOMETIMES IN THE AREAS WHERE I’VE FAILED IN LIFE IS WHERE I FOCUS THE MOST AS A WRITER. 

LET ME EXPLAIN. I’VE HAD SOME GOOD AND BAD RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PAST, THAT I COULDN’T CONTROL MOST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PARTNERSHIPS. INSIGHT IS CRUCIAL BUT HINDSIGHT OPENED MY EYES FULLY, IN THE END. YET AS A ROMANCE WRITER, I'M ABLE TO NOT ONLY CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT WRITE ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES (THROUGH THESE CHARACTERS), I’VE HAD IN MY LIFE AND CLEAR PERCEPTIONS I’VE LEARNED ALONG THE WAY.

SO BROTHER DEAR, IF YOU’RE READING THIS I’VE JUST GIVEN YOU A BETTER EXPLANATION OF WHY I CHOOSE TO WRITE ABOUT ADULT CONTENT MORE SO THAN CHILDREN.

WHAT I’VE ALSO LEARNED AS A WRITER, IS THAT SOMETIMES YOUR WORST CRITICISMS CAN BECOME YOUR GREATEST INSPIRATIONS.  

TELL ME I CAN’T AND I’LL PROVE YOU WRONG EVERY TIME. PERSEVERANCE IS THE BEST WAY TO VINDICATE YOURSELF IN THE EYES OF ALL NAYSAYERS. NO AMOUNT OF NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOULD EVER MAKE YOU GIVE UP.   

IN CLOSING, WE SHOULD ALWAYS PUT FORTH OUR BEST EFFORTS NO MATTER THE OUTCOME. WE HAVE TO FACE OUR GREATEST FEARS HEAD ON. IF WE DON’T MEET THESE CHALLENGES THEN WE SHORTCHANGE OURSELVES AND HINDER OUR OWN GROWTH. WRITE YOUR BEST STORIES, AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO FACE THE CRITICISM THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT.

I HOPE I’VE INSPIRED SOMEONE TODAY TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD AFTER RECEIVING A REJECTION LETTER OR BAD REVIEW. THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE HOPELESS OR SHOULD GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, BUT SELF EXAMINE. BECAUSE IT HELPS US TO STAY OPENED MINDED AND FOCUSED. TO SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, THIS IS WHERE THE CUTTING TO AID OR PROMOTE HEALING COMES IN.

REMEMBER IF THEY TOOK THE TIME TO TELL YOU WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT, IT MEANS THEY SEE THE POTENTIAL OF YOUR STORY AND ALSO YOU CAPTURED THEIR ATTENTION.