"RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE SURE"

         

                                                           Building Confidence

Introverted, I was never outspoken as a child, teenager, or young adult.  I was the wallflower who blended in with the background as much as possible.  This was a safe zone for me.  If I was invisible, no one could see, or hear me.

My first year of school was traumatic.  Not because I didn’t understand but because I was exposed to things that frightened me. I was never the child who raised her hand in class. Although, I knew the answer, I was too afraid to speak up.

However, remaining ambiguous wasn’t the option chosen for my life.  You see, God had bigger plans for me than what I did for myself. Of course, I rebelled against this.  Not in a vociferous manner, but I went into full shutdown mode, enclosing around myself like a blackhole.

No matter how much I fought against the universe that forced me from the background into the forefront, it became crystal clear the battle was futile.

Life, placed me in situations where I could no longer remain silent. You see, I grew up in a family of strong individuals who were boisterous as they came. No matter how much my mother said, that under certain circumstances, you were made to be seen and not heard, my siblings fought against that idea.

Me, however, I was fine with it.  The quieter the better, is what I said.  At the time, I didn’t understand or question why she said this, though I agreed with the philosophy. You see my parents grew up in an era where their rights as citizens were impugned every day. They couldn’t speak out from fear of retribution. They did what they needed to do to survive.

Maybe, this was the source of my insecurities and contributed to my condition. Fear, silences many voices, hopes and dreams. Now I’ve realized that if you have dreams and want to achieve your goals, you must not remain silent, but build confidence.

The greatest enemy that stands in the way to success, is not always attributed to an outside source.  I remember the commercial that ran quite a few years back.  “We have met the Enemy and He is us.” truer words were never spoken.  Although, I have to admit, at the time I just didn’t get that either.

Later, it clicked with me. I got it! I, stood in the way of my own abilities by being unsure, afraid to step out on faith.  Most times, that’s all we have to go on.  It is our guarantee that whatever we are trying to do, we are not left alone to fend for ourselves or feel our way through the dark, without having a safe guard.

We all need confidence builders.  Someone or something that empowers us to go after our dreams.  To be sure and confident that if we are not successful on the first try, to get up and start again. Like they say, it ain’t over until it’s over.

We must encourage ourselves, before we can encourage those around us.  I received that from my family. In an obscure way.  I didn’t realize that through their protest to remain anything but silent, I obtained the perfect illustration for what would later become my battle cry.

Because they were and still are an outspoken bunch of people, they fought against the radical idealism of being invisible, not seen and not heard. They faced many more obstacles than being extremely shy. They grew up in a time where you were persecuted for being outspoken. They had to fight for everything, that I took for granted in my young life. I didn’t experience the hard times of being denied equal rights because of the skin you were in. I know, we’ve come a long way by faith, but history always repeats itself.

Nevertheless, I learned from them that although insurmountable obstacles stood in their way, they stood their ground and the fears that otherwise would’ve kept them from achieving their goals, they persevered despite this.

There are many ways to build your confidence, such as surrounding yourself with positive people.  Not someone who will tell you what you wanna hear opposed to what you need to hear. Through positive thinking, visualization, if you can see it you can do it. Affirmation, I can therefore I will.

A daily dose of self-esteem boosting works better than a daily supply of vitamin C. Remember, you are your own worst critic, but you can still build confidence through your personal critiques.  It allows you to see where you are the weakest, and then work on that area.

Along the way, I’ve received many confidence builders, from family and friends, and most of all because of my faith. So, never be afraid to lift your hands and voices high, building confidence is a major part of any strategy to success.